haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
