so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
