She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize