If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
