He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize