Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
