Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
