Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
