put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
