i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
