my sisters under your porch take her home
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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