ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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