I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I pour the whiskey from now on
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
