Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
