I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize