Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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