goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
