? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
