ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
