I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
