You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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