why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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