So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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