you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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