sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize