Kiss
Puke
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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