remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
