Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
