and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
