Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
