I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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