Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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