He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Farmville is her only friend.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
