btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
