id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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