Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
