Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize