Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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