Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
