Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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