dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
