i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need a beard to bite.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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