i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize