her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
