yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
