Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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