I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
