i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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