Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
