i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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