"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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