i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
