We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
