I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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