I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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