please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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