her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
