Apparently you make a good broom.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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