he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
